1. i’m so ridiculously nervous about the outcome….
2. …yet i know that everything happens for a reason
3. i’m so ridiculously relieved that it’s all over…
4. …yet i still have 4 letters of recommendation to secure (they’re not due till 12/1)
5. i’m so ridiculously happy to have finally had the experience of writing a grant proposal
6. …yet i find myself sort of dreading having to do this sort of thing time and time again throughout my career
7. i know now that what i’m doing is absolutely the right thing for me to be doing!

(which is a pretty damn good feeling)

i’m applying for funding through NSF’s graduate research fellowship program (grfp) and the deadline was today. i submitted my whole application package last night at 9:30pm (yay!) but still have four letters of recommendation yet to be submitted. all of my recommenders wanted to have my whole application package before they started writing – which makes a lot of sense — but it just sort of prolongs the whole process. i know everyone will turn in everything on time and will do a fabulous job, but it ain’t over till it’s over, y’know?

i’ve met a striking number of people throughout this process of writing up my proposal essays. i can think of no fewer than 8 people who have been critically important to me. i’m just incredibly lucky to be plugged into the design scene around here. goodness knows how i would have pulled this off if i were a new student! it’s just amazing to me how willing everyone is to give advice. not just off-the-cuff advice, but really truly thoughtful and well-considered advice. these are busy people, and their generosity has blown me away. i hope i can give back to the community in the same way once i’m….. a professor…? well, whatever i end up as, i just hope it involves mentoring of some sort. this process, more than anything, has convinced me that mentoring is what i want to do in the future.